Bonnie - A Girl Who Was Born in France But Grew Up in China With Her Family

I take pride in having two distinct cultural backgrounds, and this diversity makes me even more unique

My name is Bonnie, and I am of Chinese and French mixed heritage. Currently, I am pursuing my postgraduate studies in Shanghai. I completed my undergraduate degree in Wuhan, and before that, I studied in Yangshuo, Guangxi. Prior to my time in Yangshuo, I lived in France. I lived in France from a young age until I was around 7 years old, and then I moved to Yangshuo with my parents and my brother. Since then, I have been settled in Yangshuo.

Driving from France to China

Q: You lived in France before the age of 7. How much do you remember?

A: I think my memory is still quite good, mainly because that period of time was very unique. Most of my experiences from the ages of 4 to 7 are etched in my mind, even including some fuzzy memories from when I was 2 years old and attended kindergarten there. Initially, we lived in a very small rural town in France, spending that time with my parents. We purchased a rather dilapidated house and learned to build and renovate it ourselves.

My childhood in that place left a lasting impression on me. I got to know many people in the town, and my older brother attended school at the neighboring school, so I met some friends there. Although we lost contact with them later on, I still occasionally follow their lives. Afterward, we moved back to my place of birth, a city called Le Mans. Although it's not very big compared to major cities in China, it's one of the top ten cities in France. Have you heard of Le Mans? It's famous for the 24 Hours of Le Mans race held annually, and its track is one of the most renowned globally. Additionally, there's an Oscar-nominated movie called 'Le Mans '66,' which is about racing and includes scenes from this track. I lived there for a short time, about a year or two, but I still hold onto some memories. While there, I made a French friend whom I'm still in touch with.

Later, I remember one day when I was around 6 years old, my dad told me that we were going back to China. At that time, I didn't think too much about it, as children are usually carefree and don't grasp the concept of countries well. So, we set off for China. After my teacher announced this news, my classmates all drew pictures for me as a parting gift, and I still have those drawings. At that time, one of my friends also cried a lot. The farewell ceremony was organized by my entire class, which made me realize that I was leaving and wouldn't be living in that place anymore.

My dad was driving a French car, a Citroën from Le Mans, and we set off from there, drove to Paris, and then crossed nine countries to finally reach China.

Although this memory is quite old, it still lingers in my mind. During the journey, my dad encouraged me to write a diary every day, and I still have those diaries. While they are filled with childish stories, they still amuse me when I look back. Furthermore, my dad was into photography, so after taking photos, he would develop them, which is why my diaries have many pictures, allowing me to reminisce about the little moments during the trip.

Q: I find it interesting because you were only about six years old at the time. How do you remember all this in such detail?

A: I think there's another reason, which is that my brother and I often reminisce about our childhood experiences. We review our memories year by year, so we're less likely to forget.

Q: What was your most memorable experience during that time, and did anything interesting happen?

A: There were quite a few. I remember one time in a country (I often mix them up, and I discussed it with my brother, and he corrected me, saying it was not there, but possibly Iran or one of the 'Stan' countries), we crossed a desert. Not the kind with sand dunes, but a dry, desolate desert with no buildings, and the road was full of potholes. We accidentally fell into a pothole, which caused a flat tire. In this remote area, there were very few vehicles, and we felt quite hopeless.

Luckily, a large truck passed by, and they kindly helped us by placing our small car on their truck and even provided accommodation. I remember most of the residents in that country wore headscarves, and their teeth were golden yellow, as if they didn't care much about oral hygiene. When we started brushing our teeth, they watched curiously, as if they didn't understand why brushing teeth was necessary.

This experience left a deep impression on me because it was in the middle of the desert, full of uncertainty. Another time, probably also in Iran, we camped in a remote forest area. When we stopped the car, my brother and I were playing in the trunk, and our parents were sitting in the front. Suddenly, a woman appeared, trying to steal our belongings. My brother and I were bewildered and didn't know how to react. She took our bag and ran away, and our parents quickly chased her, but they didn't dare to take too much risk as she might have had accomplices.

So, we lost important documents, passports, and cash at that time. We felt very desperate because we were abroad and couldn't effectively communicate with the police. I was quite young at the time and didn't understand how to handle such a situation.

Q: How did you feel as a child at that time?

A: I felt particularly responsible because my parents said, 'Why didn't you shout loudly so they wouldn't dare to take things?' They stole right in front of us, and we had no idea how to react, so the situation was awkward. But I couldn't blame myself too much; I was too young at the time and didn't understand how to deal with such situations.

However, this incident did disrupt our trip, and I remember it wasted quite a bit of time. But I can't recall the specific resolution process; I was too young at the time.

Q: Did you miss your school friends during this journey?

A: To be honest, I didn't feel much at that time because it was summer vacation, and we didn't have to go to school. I think my parents intentionally chose that time. We spent about 80 days, a little over two months, which coincided with the start of the new school year.

I remember that we suddenly returned to my grandmother's house without notifying anyone, and that day happened to be my grandfather's birthday. We were surprised to see our grandparents, aunts, and uncles all gathered there, as we hadn't seen them for a long time. It was a special surprise, and we didn't expect it at all.

Attending Public School in China

Q: After leaving France, did you cry when you were younger? Did you miss life in France a lot?

A: It seems I didn't cry. But I remember feeling somewhat afraid because I couldn't speak Chinese and didn't understand anything when I first started school. I vividly recall the first day of first grade when parents outside the window were watching their children, and I realized my parents had already left. They didn't stay with us, and it made me a bit scared.

Moreover, what was frustrating was that there were only three primary schools in our area, and we tried two of the better ones, but they rejected us because we didn't understand Chinese. They were concerned that our performance would lower the average scores. So, we ended up at the last primary school, but the environment there wasn't as good as the other schools. For instance, on Children's Day, other schools might organize field trips or give out stationery as gifts, while at our school, we only received pickled vegetables and sour cabbage. As kids, we naturally made comparisons, and it felt strange to us. This indicated that the school was relatively backward.

Q: Yes, generally speaking, mixed-race children in China initially attend international schools rather than public ones.

A: Right, but there weren't any other schools to go to in Yangshuo at the time. Those were the only three.

Q: You stayed at that school all along. How well did you adapt? Did you later discuss with your parents whether to leave that school?

A: No, we didn't discuss it. I adapted to it. I didn't complain much when I was a child; I usually went with the flow. However, we were often bullied because my brother and I were in the same grade, and because we were foreigners, people often made fun of us, calling us 'foreigners.' My brother could protect me, but his situation was more difficult because he was a boy, and older students often bullied him, took his things, chased him, or even fought him. He had a tougher time.

Q: But whether it's a public or private school, sometimes the social circles of primary school students can be scarier than adults.

A: Primary school students may indeed not be very polite. Junior high and high school are slightly better, but junior high is when socialization starts to become more prominent. At that time, our area had many social issues, especially about ten years ago, there were quite a few delinquents, and sometimes they couldn't stand others and would bully them. I was relatively well-behaved, but my brother wasn't as lucky. He was often inexplicably challenged by people who came from the society, and he didn't know what to do, so he told our parents. But he was quite rebellious at the time.

I remember when he didn't want to attend extra classes, he organized a protest with all the students in the school. The result was that he got caught by the teacher. However, he was a good student, and the teacher ultimately let him go, while other students with poorer grades were either scolded in front of their parents or had to write self-criticisms.

Q: But if this had happened in France, it might have been quite normal. However, under the Chinese education system, it might not have been appropriate. But in the end, Chinese schools have now banned extra classes.

A: Yeah, I feel that it took many years for this new policy to come out.

Q: So, your brother was a pioneer, and generation after generation of students followed in his footsteps.

A: Actually, when I was in primary school, I also opposed attending extra classes. I wrote an article, which now seems very childish. I got thousands of likes at the time, and I felt proud. I thought everyone supported me in not attending extra classes. I even wrote a letter to the principal, but it didn't have much effect. It seemed like the principal criticized me in front of the whole school, but didn't mention my name, so it ultimately didn't lead to any results.

Settling in Yangshuo

Q: I find it quite rare that your parents were willing to stay in Yangshuo at that time.

A: Yes, now it's mainly because of family reasons, as they need to take care of family members here. And my dad really likes Yangshuo and has adapted well. I think he's quite easygoing and doesn't need much social interaction or conversation because he doesn't speak Chinese. If I were him, I might feel lonely, as there would be no one to chat with. But he always maintains a sense of freedom.

Q: Did your parents ever think about moving back to France? Was the original plan to settle in China permanently when you moved here?

A: The initial plan was to stay in China for four years. However, as those four years passed, they didn't want to leave. In fact, it's quite nice here, so they had no plans to return to France. Later, they also had plans to open a hotel, and the hotel has been in operation for ten years now. Recently, they're considering renting the hotel to someone else.

Q: Can you talk about the planning for the hotel?

A: The hotel is located in the countryside, right next to my grandparents' house, and the land belongs to us. So, he was able to build it there. The hotel's design was done by my uncle, who has also lived in Yangshuo for many years and is my dad's brother, also from France. He is an excellent designer, so there are many houses in Yangshuo that he designed, including our house. Because it blends Chinese and Western styles, it's difficult to find a local designer in Guangxi to accomplish such a complex design. So, my uncle did the design on his own, and recently he's been handling the renovations himself.

Q: Was the hotel just completed recently?

A: It's been ten years from planning to now, but the planning phase took a long time as well. Then, due to the pandemic, our family's income didn't meet expectations, so the project was put on hold for three years. This building requires a large amount of capital; it's not an ordinary house, so it costs more money. The initial investment was relatively large, and because of the pandemic, the project hasn't progressed further.

Q: So, it's still not finished now?

A: Currently, there is a building frame and about one or two rooms have been renovated. But there are a total of 18 rooms, so if we were to renovate all of them, it would require more funds. So, the current plan is to sublet it to someone who can renovate it.

Q: Ohhh, no, especially this year, with tourist visas open. If foreign tourists came here, I think they would like your design style. Have you considered fulfilling your dad's idea?

A: The basic framework has already been completed, but the main issue is still funding. If the opportunity arises, I would definitely be willing to be the boss.

Haha, I really enjoy photography because my dad also loves photography. He used to be a director, although not very successful, but he still possesses the talent for photography.

Now, he mainly works in the tourism industry, planning travel routes for tourists. So, if you have foreign friends who want to visit Yangshuo, you can introduce them to my dad.

Q: That's great. Are you also willing to return to live in Yangshuo?

A: Yes, I would definitely be willing if I could be the boss. If it's just working, I wouldn't be as interested.

Q: But this is quite rare. At least you're willing to return to your hometown. Nowadays, many young people have worked hard in big cities for most of their lives, hoping to buy property in big cities and settle down.

A: Actually, I'm not very keen on settling in a big city and buying property. I feel that if you buy a house, you'll be tied down to that city, and if you have to pay off a mortgage, unless I'm very wealthy, but I don't think I've reached that level yet, I don't want to be tied down.

Q: Now, many young people in China may buy property in big cities relying on their parents, or even money left by their grandparents, to help them settle in big cities.

A: Chinese parents are still good; they're willing to help their children. Our family may be somewhat different.

Q: Your parents won't help?

A: Are you talking about financial help? Actually, I think it's enough for them to take care of themselves.

Q: Do they have any vision for you and your brother?

A: My mom is quite relaxed and doesn't really care about our current choices. As for my dad, he hasn't set many limits but provides some rational advice. If our decisions are really bad, he'll also remind us. But overall, we have the opportunity to develop freely, without too much pressure, most of the pressure comes from ourselves.

Living in the City

Q: How did you feel when you arrived in Wuhan, leaving Yangshuo where you had lived for over ten years?

A: After leaving Guangxi, I realized that Yangshuo is quite small. Then I found that everyone in Wuhan was excellent. When I was at Wuhan University, I hardly met any classmates from Guangxi. It might be because getting into a good university was very challenging, and students like my classmates worked very hard but had difficulty getting into good universities.

At Wuhan University, I felt that my classmates were not only intelligent and talented but also knew how to enjoy life. They had their own interests and hobbies and managed their time well. It was different from our high school days when we focused solely on studying. After coming to a big city, I discovered that people there lived much richer and more enjoyable lives.

Q: I think another factor is that big cities have more resources. For example, when we were in high school, we could only learn about history and other subjects from textbooks. But in big cities, they have more resources, like museums, where they can learn directly.

A: You're right, Guangxi didn't have those resources at the time. When I first entered university, there were many things I hadn't experienced or explored before. Even trendy places, I didn't know about them. Things like escape rooms were just beginning to become popular back then, and maybe I wasn't aware of such entertainment options. These were all new experiences for me, so I found them fun and exciting. After coming to a big city, I almost didn't want to go home during summer vacations because I felt that big cities were more interesting.

Q: Life in big cities feels like you don't need to sleep; there are so many things to experience. In a big city, it was as if I had HaiDiLao Hotpot(Famous chain hot pot brand) for the first time when I was in university.

A: I think I did too. I had never heard of it before. Even XiCha(Famous Chain Milk Tea Brand), I didn't know about it when I was in high school.

Q: We didn't have those where we lived, so I'm thinking in big cities, they can quickly access some trendy things. But in smaller towns, life moves at a slower pace. How did you spend your life in Yangshuo apart from studying?

A: During the summer and winter vacations, it was mainly about relaxing, but it's different now. In recent years, I've come to really enjoy the summer in Yangshuo because Yangshuo's winters aren't suitable for outdoor activities.

When summer arrives, I enjoy going swimming, whether with friends or on my own; I'd just find a river and jump in. There are also various outdoor activities like hiking and rock climbing. I find these activities really suit my personality because I enjoy going on adventures.

For me, there might not be as many interesting things to do at home, especially in the past year or two when I've been living in the countryside. Life in the village is basically all about outdoor activities.

Q: That's great; many people from big cities go to Yangshuo for tourism and vacations.

A: Yes, I think Yangshuo attracts many outdoor enthusiasts. Some of them may be people tired of city life who return to Yangshuo and become entrepreneurs, opening guesthouses, and the like. Right now, I'm in Shanghai, and initially, I found it very fascinating, but it's been a year now, and I'm starting to feel a bit tired, as if I've already explored everything.

Studying in College

Q: Why did you choose to study your undergraduate degree in Wuhan?

A: At that time, my thinking wasn't very mature because I was still in high school. I thought I would be taking the college entrance exam (gaokao) and had been preparing for it for three years. Then, when it was time to register for the gaokao, they told me it wasn't possible because I didn't have an ID card, and I needed to register myself. I said, 'Okay, I'll register myself.'

But by that time, most schools had stopped registration because it was quite late. Wuhan University still had openings, and it's also an excellent university. So, without hesitation, I chose Wuhan University, and they happened to offer the major I was interested in—advertising.

However, during my year, the advertising major didn't have the specific direction I wanted, which was advertising design. It turned out to be marketing-oriented, but later on, I found it quite interesting.

Q: When you were studying your undergraduate degree at Wuhan University, were you in classes with Chinese students who had passed the Gaokao, or were there specific classes for international students?

A: I was in classes with Chinese students; there wasn't a separate track.

Q: So, it's somewhat like the Joint Entrance Examination for Overseas Chinese Students, but you don't have to take the GaoKao, right?

A: Yes, GaoKao is not required. but the difference is that I took the HSK Chinese Proficiency Test. However, it varies from person to person and depends on the specific entrance requirements.

Q: Were there any academic challenges during your undergraduate studies?

A: To be honest, this journey can be divided into several stages. In the first year, it was quite relaxed because I hadn't realized how challenging it would get later on.

Then, in the second year, things started getting more intense and tough. During that period in the second year, I remember working hard every day. When it reached the end of the internship period in the third year, I would stay up late every night and wake up early in the morning to attend classes. I spent each day in a very busy manner, and it felt tough. I even felt like I was on the brink of a breakdown.

But eventually, I got through it. In my fourth year, life became much more relaxed because we didn't have many courses, and I had more time to do other things.

I think the most challenging stage was probably the third year because it involved staying up late every day to complete assignments, and I felt overwhelmed. However, in the end, I graduated successfully. I saw that other international students also faced many difficulties, especially those who weren't native Chinese speakers. In our batch, only two people eventually graduated out of ten, and I consider myself lucky to be one of them.

Q: Were the classes taught in Chinese?

A: Yes, all our courses were in Chinese.

Q: So, international students who come to study in China must take classes in Chinese?

A: Yes, they need to have basic listening and speaking skills in Chinese. If they can't understand Chinese, they can't pass the courses or even enter the university because they need to pass a Chinese language proficiency exam. However, this doesn't mean that teachers are particularly lenient with them. They have to genuinely learn Chinese; otherwise, they may fail their courses.

Q: So, studying in China can be quite challenging for international students.

A: Yes, studying in China can indeed be quite challenging for international students.

Q: Is there a specific duration for graduation? For example, when you study in China, do you have to graduate within a certain number of years, or can you continue studying indefinitely?

A: There seems to be no specific graduation deadline, but you need to pay your tuition fees on time. Tuition fees for Chinese students are relatively low, usually around 5,000 RMB. For international students like us, the fees are higher, generally between 10,000 to 20,000 RMB, plus accommodation costs, so it amounts to over 30,000 RMB. For me, it was still a relatively expensive expense.

Q: Do universities offer scholarships?

A: Yes, I received a scholarship when I later pursued my master's degree in Shanghai.

Q: How did you learn about these scholarship opportunities when you were studying your undergraduate degree in Wuhan?

A: Regarding scholarships, I learned about them later. During my undergraduate studies, I was not aware of scholarship opportunities, so I didn't apply for them. However, while studying, I heard about some scholarship options, so I applied for them when I applied for my master's degree.

But I made a bit of a mistake back then. When applying, I filled in three preferences, and I thought the order didn't matter much. So, I put the scholarship I was least interested in as my first choice and the one I wanted the most as the last choice. However, later, I also applied for the Shanghai Municipal Government Scholarship. Fortunately, I still successfully obtained a scholarship.

At first, I regretted it a little because I felt like I was leaving my comfort zone. In Wuhan, I had already adapted very well. I had friends and teachers I was familiar with, had chosen a supervisor, and the master's program was exactly what I was looking for. I didn't need to move to a new dormitory, and everything was convenient.

But when I came to Shanghai, I had to readjust to a new life, make new friends, and at the time, my boyfriend was in Wuhan. But later on, I gradually adapted to life in Shanghai, made new friends, and things got much better.

Q: Is there a significant difference between studying at Wuhan University and studying at Fudan University?

A: I feel that the teachers have much higher expectations, and they scrutinize your work. You can't approach it the way you did in undergrad, using templates and relying on others' work. In postgraduate studies, you need to conduct in-depth research, and if you're just following a template, it won't work; you have to come up with your own solutions.

Q: As graduation approaches, are you excited?

A: I wouldn't say I'm excited; I think most people are somewhat lost when they graduate. From what I've seen, most of my classmates were confused for about a year after graduation, especially when starting work. There's a lot of uncertainty. I imagine I'll be quite anxious in the first month after I graduate, unable to find a job.

Q: Haha, no need to worry, you're already interning, do you feel a lot of pressure during your internship?

A: It's manageable. The main challenge is the long commute; I need to travel from Yangpu to Pudong, roughly three hours round trip every day. Sometimes I have to work overtime, and I didn't return home until after 10 p.m. yesterday. But it depends on the situation; most of the time, it's fine, and I usually finish work at 6 p.m.

In my everyday work, I don't experience significant pressure, so I take it relatively easy. Unlike full-time employees who often bear more significant responsibilities and have to constantly remind themselves to ensure that every detail is addressed. At the same time, they face daily supervision from superiors, which multiplies the work pressure.

During my internship, I do feel some pressure, but fortunately, my supervisor is very supportive and understanding. Even though I understand that my performance may not be the best, he always provides kind reminders, which encourages me a lot.

Q: What's your ideal career development path at the moment?

A: In a practical sense, I hope to start from a junior position in a relatively large internet company and then move up gradually. Going through an internship and then transitioning to a full-time role would be a practical scenario. Of course, a higher salary would make it perfect.

Q: How about your long-term plans? Do you plan to return to Yangshuo, or will you continue to stay in Shanghai?

A: Initially, I thought about returning to Guangzhou and finding a job there. Guangzhou is close to my hometown, Yangshuo, and it's a first-tier city. I've been there a few times and found it quite comfortable. I'm accustomed to the climate in the south. Ideally, I'd like to make enough money to return to Yangshuo and open a Airbnb, which is the perfect scenario (haha).

Q: If there were good opportunities in France, would you consider going there, even though it's quite far away?

A: Actually, I'm pretty laid-back, and I don't like staying in the same place for too long. I might stay in China for a few years and then go to Europe later, but it's still uncertain. It depends on my future desires. Who knows, if I get married, I might follow my partner (haha).

Q: Haha, it sounds like you have a prospective male guest in mind.

A: (Laughs) Well, it's just a possibility!

About Cultural Identity

Q: As a mixed-race individual of Chinese and French heritage, do you ever feel conflicted about your cultural identity?

A: I do feel some conflicts at times, but it's not a major issue for me. I was particularly moved when I watched the movie "Green Book," especially by one line: "If you're not entirely white and not entirely black, what are you then?" This line made me ponder my own identity.

I'm neither entirely French nor completely Chinese, which can make me question my sense of belonging. Sometimes in my daily life, I feel isolated, wondering why others seem not to understand me. This feeling is particularly strong in France, where I sometimes feel like I don't fit in with those around me.

This is one of the reasons I'm not very eager to return to France. I worry that I won't be able to assimilate, find common ground, or communicate effectively with people. In China, I've already adapted to many aspects of life, even though I still perceive differences between myself and others.

Sometimes, my open-mindedness and the TV shows and movies I enjoy might not align well with the local culture, leading to differences in our values. However, I have a brother who grew up in the same environment, and our values are similar. I often engage with him, and in many ways, he shares the same feelings I do.

Overall, I take pride in having two distinct cultural backgrounds, and this diversity makes me even more unique.

Bonnie In YangShuo - The area's renowned limestone karst mountains have established Yangshuo as the indisputable center of China's climbing community, making it a haven for backpackers.

If you want to know more about her story, follow her!

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Interviewer: 想想ZiZi

Interviewee: Bonnie波妮

Editor: 丰也青年PAZZO YOUTH